slavery:

unclefather:

slavery:

I’m ant man and this post took me two days to type

why didn’t you just ask your little shitty friends to help you press the keys

fuck you im ant man and this reply took me 12 days to type

goodzillo:

tebya:

Ted Cruz isnt laying eggs anymore and hes a losing all his feathers more than normal I’m worried hes sick

Please be more clear that that’s a funny name you gave your chicken

figdays:

“Moon Phase” Mug // JasminBlancBoutique 

shadowcat:

fairycosmos:

i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 

k25ff:

After thorough scientific analysis, here are my findings.

papajohnpizzas:

liverpool8mile:

papajohnpizzas:

Pizza so good you want to make its cheeks clap. 😎 Pizza that you want to fuck

No business that was doing well would have to put out such an obviously pandering Tumblr ad. We’ll just go to Little Caesar’s more now. 

Then go and eat their pig slop we don’t give a fuck.

doorstuck:

keep-having-faith:

Catnaps.

twerklina:

girl-in-the-hitops:

striders:

Hey is the build a bear employee supposed to force us to jump up and down or are we getting hazed

as a build-a-bear employee it is my honor to happily inform you that we get to make everyone do whatever the fuck we want during a heart ceremony. jump to get that heart beating. rub that heart to your knees so your furry friend always needs you. rub it to your toes so it’s totally awesome! shake it up so it’s got enough energy to hang out with you all day! close your eyes, make a wish, and give it a kiss you helpless motherfucker

medschoolmanic: